Monkey Hear Nothing
by W. Stock
Summary: Episode 4: The Royal Family of New Orleans A friend of Tiana fears for his life after overhearing a mafia conversation.


_Author's Note: I conceived of the idea for Deron's story while I was visiting my mother, along with the idea for last week's episode. I intended for Deron's storyline to dominate the episode more, but I just couldn't find much of a way to drag it on, and thus the main plot is boring and ordinary family issues, and the only other parts are droll scenes with Charlotte that have no real plot. Not to mention Deron's plot will likely be viewed as a rejected storyline from Soap. But I tried. I apologize to you, and I sincerely hope you can enjoy this story, anyway. _

The Royal Family of New Orleans

Episode 4:

Monkey Hear Nothing

Airdate:

March 25, 2011

_Disclaimer: I do not own The Princess and the Frog. The film belongs to Disney, and I make no money from this story. The characters are from Disney and fanfiction writer MyahLyah's stories, from which I also borrow continuity._

When Deron Richards woke up on the morning of February 6, 1928, he did not suspect that there might be anything unusual about this day whatsoever, and yet it was a day which would change his entire life.

Deron was a 34-year old colored window washer who resided in New Orleans. He was also a good friend of a notable local Negro who married Prince Naveen Hiregi I of Maldonia and upon the death of her father-in-law, King Kabir Hiregi I, became Queen of Maldonia.

On this day, he got up, ate breakfast, and drove off to the large hotel whose 222 windows always needed to be cleaned, then climbed up the scaffold and began scrubbing away at the windows. He had been doing this every day for almost 10 years, and nothing seemed out-of-the-ordinary. When he had first taken the job when he was 24, it had seemed to him quite a frightful job and he had occasionally become terrified at the height at which he stood in the scaffold, but after 9 years it had become so ordinary to him that there was nothing exciting about it at all. In fact it became the most dreadfully boring occupations one can have, for all he was required to do was clean windows for hours on end! There were times when he pondered jumping off of the scaffold, and just barely resisted the urge.

Typically, the curtains were closed on the windows he cleaned so he could not see into the rooms. Occasionally, he was able to look into the bedroom, but when they saw him, they usually shut the curtains. This time, however, the curtains on the window he cleaned were open and he could see very clearly into the room. It was a large room, and the window he cleaned was that of the bathroom's. The bathroom door stood open, however, and revealed a small glimpse of the main bedroom. There was no one in the room at that time though, so he remained bored.

This window was one of the highest up in the entire hotel, and it had not been cleaned for months, so Deron knew he would be working on it for quite a while.

()()()()

2 hours before Deron had awoken, the King and Queen of Maldonia had (the time was, of course, different in both countries, but Deron still woke up 2 hours after them). They lay side-by-side in the giant wooden bed which Naveen's parents had slept in for 30 years (it had been replaced with a new bed when they had first moved in, but Naveen had decided that he preferred the old bed).

Tiana looked over at the large clock that stood in the corner of the room, then looked over at her husband, who lay under the blanket they shared in nothing but his underwear, his hairy chest showing slightly above the covers. "Well, it's morning," she said with a smile as he looked over at her. "What's first on our agenda today?"

"Uh, let me think..." Naveen said as he looked up at the giant brass mirror which was attached to the ceiling and enjoyed the sight of his reflection in it. "I believe I have a meeting with the advisers and the Earls and assorted officials, then I have to make a speech to reporters about the country's issues and how we're going to handle them. After that, we're pretty much free."

"Naturally, I don't gotta do much," Tiana pointed out.

"And if I had that privilege, I would not be complaining," Naveen told her.

"So we would have some time to ourselves for a few hours to make a private celebration?" Tiana asked.

"Yes," Naveen said, confused.

"Well, good. I suppose we'd better get off to that meeting soon, right?"

"Right," Naveen told her. "So you are coming?"

"Yes."

"But you cannot speak Maldonian!" he reminded her.

"Yes," Tiana said, sitting up. "But you promised you'd translate for me. Remember?"

"Oh, right. I did," Naveen said, just now remembering. "I shall take a shower now, and then we shall have breakfast and go to the meeting." He got up and walked to the bathroom.

"All right," Tiana said, remaining on the bed.

()()()()

Around that time, in New Orleans, it was breakfast time at the LaBouff mansion. Big Daddy entered the room first, and sat down at the long table which had already been filled with food by the servants. He picked up the newspaper which had been placed on the table by the servants and began to read it, then took small bites of his drumstick. He knew what was about to happen, and he took deep breaths to prepare himself, enjoying the last peaceful minute before it would occur.

He heard the door upstairs being thrown open, and heard loud stomping, and the squealing of a young woman. He then saw the blur of his 21-year old daughter, Charlotte, run into the room and up to his chair at the table..

"Oh, Daddy, ain't this just the berries? Just think! I'm 21 years old now! Good Lord, ain't it amazing?" she squealed, then laughed. "And I'm gonna have the best birthday in all of New Orleans! Ain't I, Daddy?" She laughed again, then ran to her place on the table. "Just think about it! 21! This sure as hell is a big one, ain't it, Daddy?"

"And how," Big Daddy agreed. In the back of his mind, he wondered when she would move out of the mansion, if she ever planned to do so, but he said nothing, and calmly chewed at his turkey drumstick as he read the newspaper.

Charlotte attacked her roast lobster, ripping into it and tearing it apart savagely. "I already got my glad rags on, and I'm gonna go see Lavinia and Alice and Marie and Dorothy, and we're gonna go out and whoopee! Ain't we, Daddy? Oh, this is keen, now, ain't it, Big Daddy?"

"Sure as hell is," Big Daddy replied again, chewing his drumstick slowly and calmly.

"Oh, I just can't wait! We are gonna have such a gay time, I tell you!"

Big Daddy also expressed such sentiment in his mind, only his anticipation was of his daughter leaving to have a good time with her friends. He always enjoyed those times, for the mansion was very calm without her presence, which allowed him to relax.

Charlotte had finished her lobster (excluding the innumerable crumbs left in its wake) and now began to treat her salad in the same manner in which she had treated the lobster.

"I hope you do, darling. I sure as hell do," Big Daddy told her.

"Tia's gonna turn 21 today, too!" Charlotte cried as she tore into the salad. "We was born on the exact same day, remember?"

"At the exact same time," Big Daddy added. "Which was 1:23, a time which shall not transpire for..." He checked his watch. "Exactly 5 hours and 12 minutes. So right now, you're still 20."

The salad and fork dropped from Charlotte's mouth, her eyes now wide. "What?" she cried. "But... But... Are you sure it was 1:23?"

"I remember it very well, darling," Big Daddy assured her. "I was pacing around the waiting room, checking my watch every few seconds, and staring through the door in which your mother was going through labor. Then I heard her screams and I checked my watch, and the big hand was pointing 3 points away from the 4, and the little hands was pointed right at 1. The fella sittin' next to me (he had black hair and a clean shave, and he wore a dark gray suit) said, 'That your wife in there, pal?' and I said, 'Sure is!', then I checked my watch again. The time had just changed, then, and the nurse came out and said, 'Your baby has been born, Mr. LaBouff,' and I jumped up and I yelled, 'Yahoo!' and I ran in the hospital room to see..." 

"Daddy, you don't hafta get all caught up in it and tell me the entire story!" Charlotte cried.

"Oh, sorry, darling," Big Daddy said with a laugh as he began to eat his own salad. "But you definitely was born on 1:23. It was written on the birth certificate, and I remember hearing y'all _rip_ out of her vagina just as I was looking at my watch."

"Well, if you're sure," Charlotte said, looking disheartened as she gazed at her salad. Suddenly, her face lit up. "I guess we'll just hafta really celebrate it when the time changes to 1:23! Won't we, Big Daddy? Ha ha!"

"Yep, darling. I guess that's what you'll have to do," Big Daddy said, smiling.

Charlotte shoveled salad into her mouth as she spoke. "As soon as I finish breakfast, I'll call Tia and ask her how she's gonna celebrate her birthday! I better tell her she won't be 21 for another 8 hours and 12 minutes!" She laughed, which caused pieces of the salad to be spit onto the table.

"That's 8 hours and 11 minutes now," Big Daddy said, looking at the large clock which stood to his left side against the wall. 

Charlotte's face became sorrowful once more. "Oh, no, and it'll be even longer once I'm actually on the phone! Oh, Daddy, what the hell am I gonna do?"

"Tell her she was born on 1:23," Big Daddy told her as he forked a piece of salad into his mouth.

Charlotte's face lit up once more. "Oh, all right! That'll work!" she said, then continued shoveling salad into her mouth which she ripped frantically with her teeth. "I wonder if Naveen bought her something special! I wonder how they're celebrating it! Oh, Good Lord, Daddy, I gotta finish this meal and go call her!" It was quite disgusting to watch her, for large pieces of salad fell out of her mouth as she spoke and fell on the table. One fell down toward the floor and was hastily snatched out of the air by the LaBouffs' St. Bernard, Stella.

"I reckon you'll be finished soon," her father noted.

Charlotte gasped, causing pieces of salad to fly into the air. "I just realized!" she cried. Her eyes were wide and panicked. "What if Naveen don't got no time to celebrate Tia's birthday? I mean, Kings do got a hell of a lot to do, right?"

"i would imagine so," Big Daddy admitted. "But I'm sure he could postpone some activities so as to celebrate it, or to have a little celebration."

Charlotte's face was once more rosy. "Well, I'd better call her up and see!" She now forked an egg and shoved it into her mouth, but she accidentally bit the end of it off, causing egg to fall on the table and create a stain.

Big Daddy began to read his newspaper once more, then heard an unsavory noise and looked over to find that Stella had vomited onto the floor.

()()()()

At the time the events which were just described to you had concluded, Naveen was still in his shower while Tiana was putting on her clothes. She was well-dressed and ready for breakfast, but Naveen was still in the shower. He typically got out in around 5 minutes, though, so she sat down on her bed and read _The Outlaw of Torn_.

3 minutes had passed before the telephone rang. Tiana got up and answered it.

"Hello?" she said.

"Oh, hello, Tia!" her friend's giggling voice came in. "Oh, good Lord, Tia, I couldn't wait to talk to you! I was just wonderin' how the hell you and Naveen are planning to celebrate your birthday!"

"Well, I don't know yet, Lottie," Tiana told her.

"Well, I thought that maybe since Naveen is King, he wouldn'ta got no time to celebrate your birthday."

"No. His schedule's pretty clear today. And as a matter of fact, I even asked him if he would have a few hours for a special celebration, and he said yes."

"Oo-wee! I'm glad to hear that, Tia! I was really fucking worried there for a minute! Ha ha ha! Well, anyway, I hope you enjoy your birthday! Oh, and one more thing I gotta tell y'all, Tia! Daddy says you and me was born on 1:23, so you and me ain't 21 yet!"

"Well, thank you for telling me that, Lottie."

"All right! He's pretty damn sure 'bout it, too! And is James doing all right?"

Tiana sighed. "Oh, Lottie, I really ain't spent as much time with him as I should. I ain't got much time, anyway, 'cuz I've been following Naveen around, trying to participate in my country's issues. I typically get a few hours to spend with him, though, but still it ain't nearly as many hours as I should."

"Well, if I was you, I wouldn't worry too much about it. And I reckon you see him enough. Naveen probably don't spend much time with him, does he?"

"Actually, Naveen goes to see him pretty often. Almost every night, he reads him that _Frog Prince _book that the servants read to him every night when he was a child."

"Ohhh! Goddamn, do you reckon when he's old enough, you'll tell him how that story sort of happened in our life?" Charlotte asked excitedly.

"Yes. Probably so. I ain't sure whether he'll believe me or not, so it'll make a damn good bedtime story," Tiana told her.

"Oh!" Charlotte laughed. "You're right? If he asks for a new story, just tell him that one! When he asks if he's true, you can tell him yes, but he won't never believe it! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Oh, that'd be the berries! So y'all don't know how you're gonna celebrate your birthday?"

"No."

"Well, that don't sound good. Goddamn, maybe Naveen even forgot your birthday, Tia."

"Oh, I really don't think so, Lottie!" Tiana assured her.

"Did he say nothing about it in the past few days?" Charlotte inquired.

"Well, no," Tiana admitted. "But..." She began to feel worried. "You know, Lottie, maybe he did forget my birthday. I mean, when I asked him if there would be time for a private celebration, he said yes, but he sounded balled up. But... I wonder."

"Oh, goddamn, Tia, that sounds fucking bad! I mean, did you ever tell him your birthday?"

"Yes. He asked about it a few times when we was first married and after, and I think he remembers. He remembered it last year. Forgot our anniversary, though."

"Well, I don't know, Tia! I mean, maybe he did forget, if he sounded balled up!"

"Or maybe it was just a trick to make y'all worried, and then you'd be really relieved when he actually remembered it."

"I don't know about that, Lottie!" Tiana laughed. "But, maybe..." She paused, considering it.

At this moment, the water stopped running in the shower.

"I guess we'll just have to wait and see, then, won't we, Tia?"

"Oh, yes. That reminds me, Lottie. Did Georgia tell you about her friend who she thinks may have gotten kidnapped by the Klan?"

Charlotte gasped. "No! Kidnapped by the Klan?" 

"Yeah. The window was broken open and she wasn't in the house, so they're just gonna wait and see if she comes back. Now, you're probably gonna celebrate with Georgia, so when you see her, you ask her if her friend has come back yet."

"Oh, sure, Tia! And you make sure to tell me what happens with the birthday situation!"

"I will, Lottie!" Tiana assured her.

At this moment, Naveen came out of the bathroom wearing a towel.

"And I sure as hell hope you have a happy birthday!"

"Thank you, Lottie!" 

"Well, I'll go now. What'll you be doing now?"

"Having breakfast, and going to a meeting with Naveen."

"Oh! Okay! Bye!"

"Bye!" Tiana hung up the earpiece of the phone.

"Lottie called, huh?" Naveen asked.

Tiana gasped, then turned around to see her husband standing outside the bathroom. She quickly calmed down after a moment.

"Yes," she told him.

"Well, I shall get my clothes on, and we shall go down for breakfast," Naveen told her, then went to the closet to get his clothes. While he did that, Tiana went back to the bed, and sat down, then cleared her throat.

"There ain't nothing important happening today, is there, Naveen?"

Naveen looked over as he took his cigarette pack from his pocket. On his face was a very confused look. "No, nothing particularly important. Of course, our new tax regulation plans being put into order is rather important, I suppose." He took a cigarette from the pack and placed it between his lips.

"Yes," Tiana replied, disappointed. She rested her hand on her chin. She grew sad. It seemed as if Naveen had forgotten her birthday, after all. She could not care less about presents and being celebrated, but she was saddened at the thought that he did not care enough about it to remember it. 

Naveen's voice broke her out of her daze. "Well, let us go." She looked up to see him standing outside the closet dressed in his uniform holding a lit cigarette between his fingers.

"Right." She got up and followed him out the door.

()()()()

Charlotte and her friends engaged in numerous activities before arriving at Lavinia's mansion at 12:43. They sat at a table in Lavinia's guest room, a filled glass of champagne by each of them. Each one was not to drink until the giant clock which stood against the wall struck 1:23. Charlotte had wished them to go to Tiana's Palace to engage in this activity, but Alice had pointed out to her that they could not drink alcohol there. So now they sat waiting.

"Oh, my God, ain't this exciting?" Charlotte cried.

"Sure is," Marie agreed, eagerly awaiting the moment.

It was now 1:18. Dorothy began to tell a story about her cousin, but only Marie listened to it, the rest's attention firmly affixed upon the clock. At last, it struck 1:23.

"I'M 21!" Charlotte shrieked as she jumped up and poured the contents of her wine glass down her throat, then threw the glass away. Alice, Marie, Dorothy, and Lavinia cheered as they took sips of their own glasses.

"A toast to the celebration of our dear friend, Miss Charlotte LaBouff's 21st birthday!" Lavinia cried, as she toasted her wine glass with Alice's. Marie then brought her glass in for the toast just as Lavinia and Alice were lowering their glasses, which caused Lavinia's glass to tip and spill its contents onto the floor, and Alice's glass to fall from her hand and smash on the floor.

"GODDAMN IT, MARIE!" Alice screamed.

"I'm sorry! I-I didn't realize that..." Marie started, shocked at what had happened.

"Gals, gals, don't worry 'bout it!" Charlotte told them. "I'll just get y'all some new wine!" She turned to an old servant named Nicholas who stood nearby, and cleared her throat. "Nicholas, get Alice and Marie and me some more wine!"

"Yes, Miss LaBouff," Nicholas said, and picked up a bottle of wine which stood nearby.

"Well, ain't it excitin' that I'm 21 years old now?" Charlotte asked.

Alice, Dorothy, and Marie felt she was overreacting, but they did not say so.

"God, I can't wait until I turn 21. It'll be so fucking exciting," Lavinia told her.

"When will y'all turn 21?" Charlotte asked.

"May 12," Lavinia told her.

Nicholas came over and placed a new glass in front of Charlotte, which he then filled with wine.

"Well, we'll sure as hell have to remember that, won't we, gals?" Charlotte said excitedly.

"Ab-so-lutely," Alice agreed in an annoyed tone.

Nicholas now placed new glasses in front of Alice and Lavinia which he then filled with wine. Lavinia took a sip from her glass, then cleared her throat.

"Well, what the hell do y'all reckon we oughta do now?" she asked.

"Why don't we just stay here and drink our wine?" Alice suggested, taking a sip from her glass. "We can't do that nowhere in public."

"Nope," Dorothy agreed, and took the last sip of her wine before tossing the now-empty glass away.

Lavinia cleared her throat. "So how's that Queen friend of yours doing, Lottie?" she asked.

Alice, Marie, and Dorothy began to look very annoyed.

"Tia? Oh, she's doing pretty good, Lavinia," Charlotte told her, her face smiling and excited, as always. "In fact, I had a talk with her right after breakfast and before I called Marie, and I asked her how she and Naveen was planning to celebrate her birthday - 'cause she's got the same birthday as me, remember? - and she told me that Naveen had said yes when she had asked if there was time for a private celebration but that Naveen seemed balled up when she asked the question, so she ain't sure whether Naveen has remembered her birthday or not. I told her I was worried about it, and I am. I mean, forgetting someone's birthday is pretty fucking serious!" 

Alice and Dorothy held their heads on their hands. They were annoyed by discussion of Tiana, as they disliked her as well as all other Negroes, and were angered that she had become the Queen of an entire foreign country. Marie shared the same sentiment, but she, along with Lavinia, listened very intently.

"And how," Lavinia said.

"If he forgot, she oughta break up with him," Marie told Charlotte.

"Well, I'd hate to see 'em break up, but maybe you're right, Marie! Oh, my God, I hope they don't, but maybe they will, and maybe they should!" Charlotte's face grew panicked, but then smiled, calming itself once more. "But then again, he coulda been pretending he forgot Tia's birthday just to surprise her later on."

"Yes," Lavinia said, now disinterested with the conversation herself.

"They're a great couple, I'll tell you that! But Naveen was a really big playboy before he married Tia, and he almost married me, you know that? He said that he'd marry me if I kissed him to turn him back from a frog, and..."

"What?" Lavinia said, shocked.

Marie and Alice's mouths hung open, confused. Dorothy still had her chin rested on her hands in a disgruntled manner, not listening.

"Well, never mind! It's a long story!" Charlotte told them.

()()()()

At 2:21, Deron was still cleaning the window which was one of the highest in the hotel and which had not cleaned for months. He was very tired and felt one of his frequent urges to jump from the scaffold, but it was then that something interesting occured. He heard the door to the room open and someone enter.

He could not see the person, as the window he polished was the window to the bathroom, which stood at the end of the main room, but he could hear him very well. A very audible sigh could not be denied to pertrude from the main room. He heard only faint noises from the man inside for quite some time before the door opened once more.

"Hello, Mr. Waterford!" he heard a male voice cry.

"Hello, Henry," a strong, authorative male voice said. "Now, I would love to hear you explain just why the hell we are meeting in a hotel."

Deron put his ear close to the window, making not a sound.

"And for that matter, why you are staying in a hotel when you live in the area," the voice added.

Deron disliked putting his ear so close to the window which was covered in cleaning solution, so he quietly slid the window open.

"Well, you-you see, Mr. Waterford, I have just gotten word that 2 days from now, King Gorilla will be staying at this hotel in the room next door."

"I see," the authorative voice said, interested. "And how exactly do you know he'll be staying here?"

"Well, I gave a list of names to a fella who works here, and told him to be sure to call me back if any of the names I mentioned showed up. And apparently one of his aliases made a reservation."

"Well, Henry, I hope it's on the level. And if it is, I'll be pretty fucking glad of it. This bastard has been giving us trouble for 7 years, hasn't he?"

"Sure as hell has. And when he comes, I'll bump him off while he sleeps."

Deron just barely repressed a gasp.

"Bump him off? Now, Henry..."

"I have taken all precautions to avoid being traced. I wore a mask when I checked in, I will drive him off to a safe place, then I'll drive back to the hotel and check out, then I'll go back to the place and bump him off. There ain't no goddamn way no one will figure out who done it. I promise you that, Mr. Waterford." 

"They better not. Because if they do, I'll get you before they can get me. Don't take any wooden nickels," the authoritive voice said sternly.

Deron could hardly breathe. He began to feel terrified.

"Yes, sir, Mr. Waterford," the other voice said.

Then the bedroom door shut.

Deron carefully shut the window, panicked. His heart was beating the fastest it had ever beat. He had just overheard a mafia conversation. He had heard a lot about their dealings, but to overhear one of their conversations! He began to fear for his life. If those gangsters found out he had overheard them, they would kill him, no question of it. Unfortunately, the window was still immensely filthy, so he was forced to continue scrubbing it for another hour.

()()()()

Tiana and Naveen had had breakfast and attended the meeting, which was rather boring and uneventful. After that, Naveen went to visit James while Tiana went to the kitchen to feed her hungry fetus. After she was finished eating, she returned to the nursery to see James, and read to him and sung to him, and she and Naveen did all manner of things with him, then they went to their bedroom and read.

Tiana began to feel very discouraged, believing he had not remembered her birthday at all. But perhaps it did not truly matter. It was a small fault, really...

She sat on the bed reading _The Outlaw of Torn_ while Naveen sat next to her smoking a cigarette as he read a book which was written in Maldonian.

As the day wore on and still no mention of her birthday, she gave up all hope of him remembering it, then Naveen went off to make his speech to the journalists.

Tiana continued to read on her bed for a while before the phone rang, so she got up and answered it. After a while, the phone rang. Tiana got up and answered it.

"Hello. Who is this?" Tiana asked.

"Your mama. I just wanted to know how my babycakes was doing on her 21st birthday," the voice said.

"Hi, Mama!" Tiana said, smiling. It was nice to get _some _acknowledgement of her birthday.

"You and Naveen doin' nothing special for it?" Eudora asked.

"Well, it sure as hell don't appear like we are 'cause Naveen ain't said a goddamn thing about my birthday at all," Tiana told her.

Eudora gasped. "Really? Oh, my God, babycakes, that's horrible! It's an important responsibility for a husband to remember his wife's birthday!"

"Maybe, but I doubt that's grounds for divorce," Tiana told her.

"Well, I-I'm sorry, babycakes. I guess it ain't really that big of a deal, but he shoulda remembered it. If he don't know about it, I suppose the Queen's birthday ain't a big holiday in Maldonia, then?"

"No, I guess it ain't," Tiana told her, sighing.

"Well, don't worry 'bout it too damn much, Tia," Eudora advised her. "Like I said, it ain't really that big of a deal. Your daddy forgot my birthday the first 2 years we was together, anyway. Did he remember it last year?"

"Yes."

"Oh! Well, then he must be planning to surprise y'all! Your daddy did that to me once!"

"Well, maybe, but it's getting a mite late for that," Tiana told her.

"Maybe he wants to really surprise y'all by doing it just at the end of the day when y'all think he didn't remember it, and you're so sad about it," Eudora told her. "That's what your daddy did to me on my 25th birthday."

Tiana paused, contemplating the idea. "You know, Mama, I think you're right."

"Of course I'm right. I'm your Mama, and your Mama's always right," Eudora joked.

Tiana laughed.

"Where is Naveen right now, babycakes?" Eudora asked. 

"He just went to a journalists' assembly to answer some questions about the country." 

"Oh. Well, when he gets back, I reckon he'll surprise y'all. After all, he remembered your birthday last year, didn't he? And I really thought your daddy had forgotten my birthday. I remember I beefed about how he'd forgotten my birthday to you. I said some pretty harsh things, but y'all didn't understand a word of it since y'all was 1; but then at the end of the day, he threw me that huge party."

"Well, thanks, Mama," Tiana told her, smiling now. "Bye now." She hung up the earpiece and fluttered onto the bed and began to read once more, now rather confident that he had remembered her birthday.

She had not read for very long before the phone rang again. She got up and answered it again.

"Hello."

"Hey, this is your grandfather," an old, yet deep and commanding voice said.

"Oh, Grandpa! Hi! Nice to hear from you!" Tiana said, her face lighting up.

"I wanted to know how my granddaughter was doing on her 21st birthday. I figure since you're the Queen now that's a pretty big deal, huh? Y'all gonna throw a big party?" Tiana's grandfather asked.

Tiana's face drooped, feeling sad once more. "Oh, Grandpa, it really don't look like it. No one here's said nothing about my birthday all day, and Naveen looked balled up when I asked him for a private celebration."

"What? Who the fuck does your husband think he is?" The old voice grew angry. "A man got an obligation to remember his wife's birthday! It's one of the basic rules of marriage! Tiana, if that man don't even bother to remember your birthday, I don't think he's worth staying with!"

"Grandpa, it really ain't that big of a deal," Tiana told him.

"Ain't that big of a deal? Where was y'all saying that when Julia was standing in the kitchen telling me the same things I've been telling you?"

"I wasn't born yet," Tiana reminded him.

"Well, don't y'all go telling me that what your grandmother said wasn't true!"

"Look, do you think Grandma shoulda left you because you forgot her birthday?" Tiana asked him.

"No, but I apologized! I got on my knees and begged Julia for forgiveness, and when y'all tell Naveen what he forgot, he'd better do the same thing, or else!"

"Grandpa, Maldonian divorce grounds are worse than in America. They don't even exist for regular folk! And besides, if I do leave him, all the papers will say, 'QUEEN DIVORCES KING OVER FORGOTTEN BIRTHDAY'. Do you have any idea how that would look? The whole country will think I'm the Queen of overreaction!"

"Well, y'all tell him that so he'll get on his knees!"

Tiana laughed. "All right, Grandpa."

"Well, happy birthday, sweet! Give him hell for me!"

"Bye, Grandpa," Tiana told him, smiling as she hung up the receiver and walked back to the bed. It was nice to speak to her grandfather. She read for only a few minutes

more, because the phone rang again. She got up and answered it.

"Ahem. Hello."

"Hello, my good niece! And how are things going for the Queen of Maldonia on her 21st birthday?" the voice asked.

"Uncle Cornelius!" Tiana cried, a wide grin spreading across her face.

"I'm sorry if I took y'all away from a big party."

"Oh, don't worry about that, Uncle Cornelius," Tiana told him, all happiness leaving her face. "No one at this palace has remembered my birthday, anyway. Not even Naveen."

"What?" Uncle Cornelius's voice sounded shocked and appalled.

"Yep. He ain't said nothing about my birthday all day."

"That's outrageous! Who does he think he is? Look here, Tiana, y'all tell that motherfucker a thing or two, okay?" 

"Uncle Cornelius, I really don't think it's that big a deal," Tiana said.

"What do you mean it ain't a big deal? Remembering a birthday is one of the most important things a husband can do! Well, y'all tell that husband of yours a thing or two for me! Y'all tell that motherfucker! Now, goodbye!"

"Bye," Tiana said. She hung up the earpiece and walked back to the bed. She lay down and sighed, then gazed up into the air, truly depressed. It was a minute before she found the strength to pull herself up and grab the book again. She had read one sentence - "'One can never tell,' said Roger de Conde, 'what manner of fool a man may be.'" - before the phone rang again. She got up and answered it quickly.

"Hello," she said.

"Hello, Tiana," a gravelly voice said.

"Oh, Uncle Roger, thanks for calling," Tiana greeted him.

"Well, I just wanted to wish y'all a happy birthday. 21 now, huh? Years go by soooo quickly..." he told her.

Tiana sighed. "It seems like everyone's been calling to wish me a happy birthday today. Uncle Roger called a minute ago, and then I had just read one sentence of my book before you called."

"Oh!" Uncle Roger laughed.

"And a few minutes before that, your brother called."

"Oh. Did you ask how Norm was doing? I ain't seen the bastard for a while."

"No, I'm sorry. You can call him if you want."

"I will," Uncle Roger told her.

"Well, anyway..." Tiana cleared her throat. "Mama called me before that, and earlier on in the day, my best friend, Lottie called me."

"Yuck. Never did like that girl."

"Well, it seems like everyone remembered my birthday except for my husband."

Uncle Roger laughed. "Well, you can't expect a man to remember it every year. And you've only been married for 1 year. Remind him every time it comes up. He'll get used to it. Nothing to make a big deal out of, anyway. No big deal at all. Well, maybe I'll call you back some time soon. You and me ain't talked to each other for quite a while. But I suppose I better get off the line so you can receive the next call!" He laughed. "Bye, babycakes."

"Bye," Tiana said, and hung up the phone, and went back to reading. It was not long before she was disturbed again by a knock on the door.

"Hol ben be?" she asked.

"It is your mother-in-law," the icy voice said.

Tiana became alarmed, for she and the Lady Nagina did not like each other. "What do _you _want?"

"I wish to speak to my daughter-in-law. Why am I to be denied such a basic and fundamental right?"

Tiana sighed. "All right." She walked to the door to open it. As she was about to open it, the door flew open, knocking her against the wall.

"Hello, Tiana!" the ex-Queen cried as she walked through the doorway.

"Hello," Tiana said in a disgruntled fashion.

"I just wanted to wish you a happy 21st birthday," Nagina told her. 

"Well, thank you." She got up and faced Nagina. Tiana stood a foot diagonally away from Nagina. "So I take it that sort of thing ain't a big deal in Maldonia at all?"

Nagina sighed, heaving her hands through the air. "No, sadly not," she told her. "That always bothered me, too. The _King_'s birthday is a major event, however. Quite ridiculous considering how much more birthdays the Queen celebrates, except in your case, of course, it will not be very much higher."

"Right," Tiana said. "Well, thank you for the 'happy birthday'. Now, everyone I know has told me except for my husband."

Nagina gasped, putting her hand to her mouth. "How could he? Why, he should be ashamed of himself! But, my dear, I believe I know why he did so. When a man forgets his wife's birthday, there is but one explanation. He does not love her enough to remember it."

"What?" Tiana said harshly, growing angry now.

"I know it must be very hard for you to realize this, but I want you to know I'm here for you." Nagina smiled in a motherly fashion and placed her hand on Tiana's shoulder. "I suggest you leave my son. There is no point to staying in a loveless marriage. By the time I realized that, it was too late. But you, you are young. You are but 21. You have the chance to leave him, and I suggest you take it." Tiana looked shocked and appalled at Nagina's words. Nagina kissed Tiana on the cheek.

"You listen to me, bitch!" Tiana screamed. "My husband loves me, and the only fucking reason you want me to break up with him is because you don't like me, and you want your husband to marry someone else! Now, dry up!"

Nagina's eyebrows then lowered and her face tightened itself into a glare.

"You will not speak that way to your mother-in-law!" She jumped up and faced Tiana, her gray eyes reflecting pure fury. She then ran to the door. "I offered you some friendly advice, that is all! You may not take it, that is fine, but I will not tolerate such judgments and disrespectful manner!" She stormed out through the doorway, slamming the door shut.

()()()()

At 5:22, Charlotte and her friends arrived at Tiana's Palace and sat down at a table and drank soda and talked.

Soon, Georgia entered and sat down at a table across from them and a few feet further. She appeared very disturbed. Her eyes were both wide open and she moved stifflty as though she were a robot. Charlotte ran up to her. Alice, Marie, Dorothy, and Lavinia all watched, surprised by Charlotte's sudden action.

"Oh, Georgia! Tiana said you think your friend was taken by the Ku Klux Klan!" she said.

"That's right," Georgia told her, looking surprised. She spoke in a quiet, monotonous tone.

Lavinia gasped. "That Ku Klux Klan is just awful! Honestly, why don't the police do nothing about it?"

Alice, Marie, and Dorothy's eyes were narrowed, and they looked annoyed. They were disappointed to see Lavinia, as well as Charlotte, hold such pro-black views.

"Well, has she come back yet, or have you gotten no news of what happened to her?" Georgia continued to stare, her mouth wide. "Tia wanted me to ask," Charlotte added.

"Oh, well..." Georgia cleared her throat. "Yes. Her body was found at the house yesterday, so we're pretty damn sure the Klan killed her."

"Good Lord! That's fucking scary, Georgia!" Charlotte cried, now starting to look disturbed, as well.

"Oh, my God!" Lavinia yelled, jumping up. She then felt awkward when she noticed Alice, Marie, and Dorothy looking at her. "I mean, damn! That is fucking outrageous!"

"Yeah!" Marie said.

"It's pretty damn sad," Georgia admitted.

Charlotte's face turned back into a wide grin. "Well, I'll tell Tia that! Thanks, Georgia!" She shook the flustered Georgia's hand wildly, then ran back to her seat with her friends.

Soon after that, Travis entered, looking disappointed and panting.

"Oh, good God, it's that creepy dude who's in love with Lottie," Alice moaned.

Dorothy and Marie rolled their eyes. Charlotte shushed them, but it was too late. Travis had heard them. He looked to see where the words had come from, and quickly noticed Charlotte, Dorothy, Marie, Alice, and Lavinia sitting together. He quickly ran over.

"Miss LaBouff, Miss LaBouff, good Lord, am I glad to see you! Goddamn, I've been running all over town lookin' for you! I figured you'd go out on the town on your 21st birthday!" He laughed. Charlotte, Alice, Marie, and Dorothy all looked very annoyed, while Lavinia stared quizzically.

"Speaking of which," Travis continued, smiling. "I got y'all something, Miss LaBouff." He handed a large box of chocolates to her. "I know they ain't much, but you've never been happy with jewelry, and I just didn't know what to get y'all, Miss LaBouff, so I hope y'all like 'em, anyway." He began to look nervous.

Charlotte looked over the chocolates. "I do," she admitted.

Travis's face broke out into a smile once more. "Good, good!"

"But you know what I don't like, Travis?" Charlotte asked.

"What?" Travis asked, looking concerned.

"You," Charlotte told him, then got up and emptied her glass of soda onto him.

Alice, Marie, and Dorothy laughed while Lavinia looked at Charlotte, shocked. Travis looked very shocked, as well. Numerous other people in the restaurant who had seen the sight laughed, including Georgia.

"Well, bye, then!" Travis cried. He ran off into the door, but forgot to open it, so he crashed into it and fell onto the floor, which provoked more laughter from the patrons of _Tiana's Palace_, as well as Alice, Marie, and Dorothy.

Alice walked over to him and poured her glass of soda onto him. He looked over at her, his mouth hanging open, then got up, pulled the door open, and ran out, colliding with a young woman who struck him across the face before moving on.

"That was fucking mean, Charlotte," Lavinia said, still shocked.

"Well, the fella is really fucking annoying," Charlotte replied.

"Yeah, Lavinia. He does this sort of thing every time we go out in public," Dorothy told him.

"It's still rude. I mean, really, the fella's in love with you and you just pour soda on him!" Lavinia cried.

"Yeah. Pretty much," Charlotte told her.

Lavinia continued to gape at them all as Deron walked in, looking very disturbed and walking as robotically as Georgia had.

"What's the matter, Deron?" Charlotte asked, looking over.

Deron looked over at her. "Nothing. Nothing at all."

()()()()

After Naveen returned, Tiana kept hoping all day that he would remember her birthday, but to no avail. He flirted with her a great deal, but never said anything related to her birthday. She went into the kitchen to cook several times, and the servants never objected to this, nor did she see any sign that they were baking a cake. She continued wondering all day if perhaps he was planning to surprise her, but at 8:00, she lost all hope. And at 9:00, she was sad as she crawled into bed. Naveen stood by the door.

"I will join you soon," he told her. "I am going to go read that _Froggi Printo _story to James now."

"Copacetic," Tiana moaned.

Naveen guessed from the tone of her voice that she was simply tired, so he did not feel concerned as he walked to the nursery.

()()()()

As Naveen was making his way back to the bedroom, a cigarette held between his fingers, he passed the meeting room. The Earl Nigel stuck his head out of the door. He had short brown hair with a thin mustache.

"Psst! Your Majesty, come here!" he cried. Naveen turned and saw him.

"What is..." he started.

"You must come here!" Nigel implored him.

Naveen shrugged and entered the meeting room. As Nigel shut the door, Naveen looked around the room. His advisers and officials all sat at a long brown table in the wide, dark room. The other Earl, Clifford, sat at the table, as well.

"Please sit down, Your Majesty," Manna, who was one of Naveen's advisers, said. Naveen reluctantly sat down at the table next to Nigel and a vacant seat that he knew to be Nigel's.

Naveen took a drag of his cigarette. "Awfully late for a meeting, isn't it, gentlemen?" he asked as Clifford sat down.

"Yes, but we did not wish the Queen to attend this meeting, and we feared that if we called you aside to come in, she would demand to know what took place in the meeting," Clifford told him, then took a drag of his cigarette.

"You are probably right," Naveen admitted, then took a puff of his own cigarette.

"And we thought if we held it during the day, she might come in looking for you." Clifford looked around, concerned. "And she is asleep now, right?"

"I believe so, but perhaps we should do this quickly," Naveen suggested. "Now," he cleared his throat. "What is the cause of this meeting that was so terribly important?"

"We wish to know when the election begins in America," Nigel told him.

Naveen's eyes widened. "Oh." He puffed on his cigarette as he listened to Ajimer, another one of his advisers speak.

"You have ignored your wife's wishes to violate our most sacred laws for a while now, but you cannot do it any longer, for this is serious business," Ajimer said. "We must know when the election begins, so we will know when the trouble is to begin."

Naveen exhaled smoke out of the corner of his mouth as he removed his cigarette. "Well, I believe the voting is held late in the year," Naveen told him.

"Find out when exactly it shall happen, and when the election shall begin," Rosebury, another adviser said.

"I will," Naveen said.

"Good," Nigel said. "And when it does take place, you must persuade your wife not to vote."

"WHAT?" Naveen yelled furiously, jumping up so suddenly he dropped his cigarette on the floor. "Tell me how I am to do such a thing! Tell me how! And I do not appreciate the way you are talking to the King of this country!"

"We are sorry, Your Majesty, but this is an important issue," Rosebury told him.

"I agree," Clifford told them. "Such a disrespectful violation of a sacred Maldonian law could provoke war from our allies."

"I agree, precisely!" Nigel cried, then paused, fully comprehending Clifford's statement. He then took a drag of his cigarette, exhaled smoke out of the top of his mouth, and said, "Your Majesty, I believe the Queen is entitled to break such a stupid law, and what harm could a war with the great and powerful Maldonia cause?"

"Oh, you blighter!" Clifford cried, pointing an accusing finger at him. "You only wish the Queen to violate the law so that we can get involved in a lovely war. Well, let me tell you this, you filthy snake. Maldonia doesn't need to get caught up in a war at present, you old warmonger!"

Nigel's eyes went wide, and his mouth hung open, shocked. "My dear friend, I am enraged by such an insult! How dare you call me such a name! I shall have you know I am but 36! Two years younger than you, I believe!"

Naveen laughed as he took his cigarette pack from his pocket. Clifford hung his head in his hands. "Look, Your Majesty. We know it will not be easy," he said. "But you must figure out some way."

"Fine. I will figure out some way," Naveen told them as he held a cigarette which he had taken from the pack. "But I would very much appreciate ideas from you, because I am _baffled _on how I could do it." He placed the cigarette in his mouth, then took a match from his pocket, struck it on the table, and lit the cigarette.

"Please figure out when the election begins and when voting will be held and report back to us tomorrow night," Ajimer, another adviser, said.

"I will," Naveen told them as he flicked the match away and walked to the door.

"We really are sorry for setting Your Majesty to such a difficult task, but there was no other choice," Nigel told him.

"I understand," Naveen said, and left the room.

"That wife terribly whips him," Nigel said to the others. "King Kabir would never have let his wife gain such control of him."

()()()()

Naveen arrived in his bedroom and looked into the bed to find his wife fast asleep. He sighed. "No panza for me tonight," he muttered, and took one last drag of his cigarette before he flicked it into the trash can as he walked toward the bed, but then the phone rang. Hurriedly, he grabbed the earpiece, not wishing Tiana to wake up.

"Hello," he said.

"Oh, Tia! Terribly sorry to call y'all so late, but I just had to ask! Did Naveen remember your birthday, after all, and if so, how did you celebrate it? Come on, Tia! Tell me! Tell me! I'm just _dying _to know!" Charlotte's voice chirped.

Naveen's eyes went wide, and he fell stiff. He hung up the earpiece, took his blanket and a pillow from the bed, then locked the door, left the room, and walked out to the living room, placed the blanket and pillow on the couch, and lay down to sleep.

_I hope you were at least a little amused by that ending, and enjoyed the story a little. As I said again, I am sorry I couldn't make this story more interesting. But on the bright side, I hope you surprised you with the ending and by revealing that Naveen did forget Tiana's birthday. After it was suggested by other people in the story that he could have been pretending he forgot her to surprise her later, I thought it wouldn't be right to actually have that happen, as it would not have been a real surprise to anyone._

_Also, I planned to feature the introduction of a new character in this episode, but sadly, I couldn't fit it in, but don't worry. I'll get it in the next episode._

_I finally got Travis on the show. I'd like to feature more of him, but I don't quite know how to fit him into the episodes. I'll figure it out, though, and he'll be in a lot more in the future._

_It took me a while to put this story up, too, didn't it? I would have gotten 2 in the same month this time if my computer hadn't been hacked on March 25, the day I was originally going to post it. I apologize. My life is just so busy, and this was a hard story for me to write with all the different people in it doing different things at different times. (This episode doesn't entirely go in chronological order.)_

_Sorry I got this up so much later than I said it would be. As I said, my computer was hacked (Note: Do not trust Spybot: Search and Destroy), and I didn't take it to be cleaned of viruses for a day, _

_But who I am talking to? My stories are hidden away in the M section where no one will read them. Well, other than the 76 visitors to Election Year in February and the 44 visitors to New Year that same month. Granted 2 of the people who visited my stories combined, were from Latvia, 1 was from Italy, 1 was from South Africa, and 1 was from Sweden, so I'm not sure all of them could read enough English to read the story, but nevertheless, that still leaves 115 people who could have reviewed. But I said much the same thing in my last story, which got 35 visitors, none of whom reviewed, so why bother? Sigh._

_(Copyright: March 25, 2011.)_

_Note: Uploaded on April 4, 2011._


End file.
